Bidoof

Suggested by ~Drauxia

Often referred to as the pest of the Sinnoh region, Bidoof is a Pokémon with very few fans and I can understand why. Before you even see this Pokémon you know it’s gonna suck; its name is contains the word ‘doof’ which is like ‘doofus’ shortened. On top of this doof is German for stupid, so we get the impression that Bidoof is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Let’s see, you’ve just started your brand new Pokémon adventure. You have Turtwig by your side and a shiny new pokéball in your hand, ready to catch your first Pokémon! You step out onto Route 201, full of anticipation, eager to see what this new region will have in stall for you and what wonderful new Pokémon you are about to discover. You step into the long grass only to encounter a wild... what is that? It looks like an unhealthily fat beaver. The realisation dawns on you; oh great, it’s another crappy 2-stage normal type Pokémon, taking the place of Rattata, Sentret and Zigzagoon. Speaking of which, it looks like a cross between its predecessors anyway; same shape as Zigzagoon, same colours as Sentret and same stupid goofy teeth as Rattata. Your Pokédex even tells you its teeth grow at a similar rate to Rattata’s. OH GREAT, I’m so happy you pointed that out because Rattata was definitely my favourite Pokémon from the Kanto region.

Moving on, Bidoof behaves very much the same as a beaver; it builds nests near water, it constantly gnaws on stuff to keep its teeth in shape, it lives in groups etc. I bet you any money it likes building dams too. But what use is it in a battle? You’d think it would come in handy with those massive teeth right? Believe it or not, Bidoof never learns Bite and doesn’t even begin to put its huge incisors to use until it learns Hyper Fang at level 21. At least Rattata knew how to use its oversized attributes. What a shame you will spend the majority of your journey practically tripping over these useless creatures on virtually every route. Time to go and buy some Repels...