Jirachi

 Suggested by ~KuroNeko1

I think we’ve all had one of those days where we just feel like staying in bed until we are forced to get up because we’re hungry or need the toilet. Apparently Jirachi never needs to eat or pee; it sleeps for 1000 years, gets up for about a week, and then goes back to bed until its 1000 year alarm clock starts ringing again. Just to make it even fussier, it will only awake to the sound of someone singing really nicely. And there has to be a very specific comet in the sky. Also there has to be someone there for it to make friends with. That’s quite a lot of motivation if you ask me.

You might be wondering how a Pokémon as comatose as Jirachi has managed to survive for many 1000s of years. To start with, it’s covered in some sort of crystalline shell supposedly to protect it from antagonistic Pokémon, more likely just to stop anyone from trying to wake it up. You don’t want to mess with Jirachi while it’s asleep; if it senses too much danger it will leap into action with its sleepwalking skills and unconsciously beat you up until you go away.

On the off chance that you are a good friend-maker with a lovely singing voice and you do happen to be at Jirachi’s place when that comet is in the sky, then congratulations; you’ve just got yourself three wishes! They’d better not be really long, detailed wishes though because you have to write them on those little bits of paper that are stuck to Jirachi’s head.

Jirachi may look cute with that big star-shaped thing on its head and those pretty little triangles under its eyes, but wait- what’s that thing on its belly? It’s a third EYE? Man, that’s a little creepy. That shape on its tummy is in fact its ‘True Eye’ which it only opens to ‘absorb energy for hibernation’. I think Jirachi is a little confused about how to eat. Listen, Jirachi, food goes in your MOUTH, please stop putting it in your eye because you might want to use your eyes to SEE with one day. Actually, scratch that, at the rate you sleep you’re pretty much dead to the world, so what you do with your strange belly-eye doesn’t concern me. At all. Goodnight.